{CROSSWAYSNET}

Oh, you're still here.... Why is that?

Please, stop, now... Shirt can only absorb so much meaningless blather...

Can't we all just get along?
Apparently not...


I'd like to thank each and everyone of you!
Oh, except you, of course.

Front: The back of this shirt says nothing you want to hear
Back: You have no impulse control. See? I told you!

I was hoping to have an erudite, meaningful discussion on the topic. Guess I'll need to look for someone else.

Grumpy? Don't insult me. Grumpy fears me.

Sarcastic?...

Smart?...

I'm having a thought in my head and you don't want to hear it.

Sarcasm: witty sabers of unvarnished truth.

Stop already! I'm losing my ability to contain myself!

Sarcasm-powered and shielded from all inanity.

I was thinking of beautiful things, then you came along!

I'd be happy if you'd change just a little. Like 100% or something.

I'm having deja vu, and it didn't end well last time.

Rolling stones collect no moss, but they do crush innocent bystanders.

Push another button. Maybe the elevator will go to the top floor!

Found half a deck with your name on it.

Smile! So I can see how many teeth are missing.

I didn't know you could scratch that in public.

Complement me once, and I'll take it.
Complement me twice, and I'll know you're being sarcastic!

Sarcasm and Gullibility:
Like a cat playing with a mouse

I choose Sarcasm 'cause sadism will get you arrested

Give it your best shot, but I warn you - I haven't had my second cup of coffee yet!

Sarcasm: In verbal warfare, it's the "Final Solution."

Go ahead, enter the bubble. My sarcasm's been waiting for you.

Emissary from the Sarcasm Society and I'm not here to negotiate.

Some ask "Why?"
I ask "Why must I endure clueless whiners?"

Oh, but my next rejoinder will be a work of simple, elegant, sarcastic beauty. Just you wait!

Just keep talking. I'm still tabulating all the sarcasm you deserve.

Sarcasm: the Logos of the Unassailable!

Do the Hokey Pokey.
It wasn't a request

You know that thing you do?
Don't

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
And others don't

It's time to face the music
The band's that way ->

Good morning sunshine - I'm your cloud for the day

Of all the people in the entire universe with whom you could share that thought, You chose me. Amazing.

Of all the people in the entire universe with whom you could share that thought, You chose me. How lucky is that?

Can glasses fix that myopia?

Big picture and unencumbered by niggling details

Today is the last day of the rest of your life, counting backwards.

Never mind what I was about to say. Now I know better than to bother

What a fascinating idea you have! Allow me to slow my brain down enough to comprehend it.

I didn't ask for this. God is apparently implementing His "forced humility" plan with "longsuffering" option

This is the day the Lord hath made - so try not to mess it up

I feel nothing but warm fuzzies. Unfortunately, they're all ravenous wolverines

As tenacious as a badger and as convinced as a Baptist theologian

I have sympathy for you. Empathy is asking too much.

If you ask, I'll feel compelled to give you an answer.
Do you really want that?

I have a post-doctoral degree in whatever you're about to talk about

Brilliant ideas in search of a worthy recipient

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a credit card

Webcams: Introducing your pajamas to the world

Please tell me those words fell out of your head accidentally.

Today is pretty much what you expected.
Apparently, you weren't expecting very much.

Give a man a fish, and his wife will yell at him to take it out of the house.
Teach a man to fish, and you've given his wife something to yell about for the rest of his life.

Running dangerously close to exhausting the sum total of universal knowledge

Don't hate me because I'm smart.

I'm here - the judgments can begin.

Why you work so hard for thinking?
You need? I give you thought for head - la. (S.E. Asia sales outta be good)

Somewhere over the rainbow an F5 is shredding a dairy farm

(Added 12/30/08)

I'm a rule follower...
Unless they're stupid.

With wisdom, knowledge and beauty
Can fame and riches be far behind?

Does this shirt have to be sarcastic?
Well, yeah...

I see your lips moving. Still waiting for the point

Poetry:
The art of saying nothing beautifully